Drunken Randomness
by Tseng no Chibi-san
Summary: Yunie and company are camping, and Auron and Lulu get bored. Mix Rikku in and you get some really random conversation. One shot in Auron's POV. Has no purpose to it.


_**Title: Drunken Thoughts**_

_**Rating: PG**_

_**Summary: Yunie and company are camping and Auron and Lulu get bored. Add Rikku into the mix and you get a really random conversation.**_

_**Warnings:Wakka and Tidus bashing, Rikku getting drunk, Lulu getting drunk, and Auron getting drunk...heh heh heh.**_

_**A/N: Yeah, I know. I should be working on 'Interesting Disasters' before you people decide that killing me isn't a bad idea. But this just came to me. It's realy pointless...but it's kinda funny. Yeah, this takes place on the Calm Lands. It's after you go to Zanarkand and find out about Sin. And they aren't on the airship.**_

-Auron-

I was bored. Really bored. Of course, I didn't let that show. I didn't let ANYTHING show. But I did notice that I wasn't the only person that was bored. Lulu was concentrating really hard on Wakka's hair. Then she lit it on fire. I smirked, but looked down to hide it. Wakka began dancing around to put out the fire.

"Lu! Put it out! PUT IT OUT!" He yelled. I was trying not to laugh. Lulu nodded slowly and casted Wateraga on him. Now he was soaking wet, and since it was night, it was cold. It got harder not to laugh at he shivered, "Luuuuu!"

"What, Wakka? You asked me to put it out," She said innocently. I got up, pretending to look for something. I went over to her and kneeled next to her.

"Cast Blizzaga," I whispered. She nodded.

"I was planning on it," She mumbled. Then she just shrugged, "Are you cold, Wakka?" She sounded innocent, but it was still damned funny.

"YES!" He yelped. She absently cast Blizzaga on him, and we had a ice statue of Wakka dancing around. It took all my will power not to fall over laughing. Lulu smiled as Yuna looked at her like she was insane.

"What did you do that for, Lulu?" She questioned. Lulu shrugged and then paused, seeming to contemplate something.

"I didn't really have a reason. Where's Tidus?" Lulu had a wicked look in her eyes. I HAD to see this. Tidus, although one could consider him my son, was annoying. As all children are...I'd make a horrible father for any children I actually had. Lucky thing for me I'm dead. Yuna coughed.

"I'm not telling you. I don't want you to fry my boyfriend," Yuna sounded a little worried, "And that's beside the fact. I don't know where he is in the first place. I'm getting worried." I shook my head.

"It's Tidus. He's a bubblehead, he's probably lost," Rikku noted gently, grinning at the frozen Wakka. She walked up to him and poked him. I found Rikku annoying, too, but she was better then Tidus and Wakka and not as stiff as Yuna or Kimahri. She was pretty fun, especially when she's drunk.

Ah, that's something totally different that happened in Macalania Woods while Yuna and Tidus were making out...

Anyway, after inspecting him and poking him for a little bit, Rikku chucked a grenade at him. Yuna was busy glaring at her cousin, too busy to notice Tidus sneaking up behind her.

"BOO!" He yelled. Yuna just looked up demurely at him and smiled. He frowned, and then dismissed the fact that he didn't scare her so that he could cuddle with her. Their cuddling made me sick. They did it entirely too much. They call each other pet names and crap like that. But it sort of reminds me why I never had a girlfriend. Excpet for that one girl...it think her name was Darrah...but she had problems.

"Tidie Whitus Bubblehead is back..." Rikku muttered. Wakka was currently K'Oed, and nobody looked like they had intentions of reviving him. Although Rikku DID begin to poke him with a stick. Kimahri was just sitting there. Finally, I decided that I ought to drink something, because I was bored again.

"I want some," Lulu said. She was as bored as I was, so she probably was going to cure it the same way I was. Get roaring drunk. You're never bored when you're drunk. You're either depressed or you're sadistic...in my case, at least.

"Oooohh! Lulu is so much FUN when she's drunk!" Rikku began bouncing up and down, "I want some, too!" So Rikku, Lulu, and I made a small ritual-like thing of passing my jug filled with whiskey (Just WHERE Rikku got a tolerence for it I have no clue) around. After A while, Rikku was drunk, and was giggling and poking things, namely Tidus and Yuna. Lulu got drunk soon after and began frying things, namely Wakka, and she was complaing about haw ugly his hair was. I wasn't drunk, but Lulu said something very weird that made me think about my sanity. Maybe I was hearing things, but...

"What would happen if Wakka became Sin?" She slurred. I paused in mid-drink, and suddenly began laughing. Okay, so I was a LITTLE drunk. Not too drunk. Just enough to relax.

"We'd always be able to tell when he was coming," I joked. Rikku giggled, and then nodded.

"And he wouldn't attack anything. He'd be too stupid. It's be...like...'Should I attack that? Should I even. Ooo, what's that. It's shiny, ya' and we'd be able to see his hair," Rikku laughed. Her crude impression of Wakka made Lulu go into a fit of giggles.

"Uhm...maybe we should revive him," Yuna muttered to Tidus. Tidus was laughing, so she hit him on the arm, "This isn't funny, Tidus!"

"Actually, it kinda is...OW!" Yuna had drawn her rod and hit him in the back with it. I smirked, and then listened to the rest of Lulu's and Rikku's conversation.

"What kinda hair gel does he use? It stays upright in water...maybe it just defies gravity," Rikku tittered. Lulu smiled.

"Let's cut off his cowlick!" Lulu laughed. I grinned and gave her a dagger. When she sawed at it, all it did was dull the dagger, "That's not fair!"

"We really need to find out what kind of hair gel he uses. Hey, d'ya think Seymour uses the same kind?" Rikku looked thoughtful in a drunk sort of way. Lulu nodded.

"I've never seen Seymour in water. Maybe he just uses a really strong hold..." Lulu said. Rikku shook her head.

"Nuh uh, 'cuz it stays upright the whole time! All day! I need some of that stuff for my hair. 'Course, I only use hairspray," Rikku said.

"Yeah, we know," I said, "It droops at the end of lunch." Rikku squealed and then touched her hair.

"But it takes 3 hours to put up when I take it down!" She yelled. I laughed.

"I was kidding," I said. She sighed in relief.

"Good. I still want Wakka's hair gel," She smiled, "I'm getting sleepy..." She curled up near Kimahri, who glared at her, and fell asleep. Lulu continued sawing at Wakka's hair. I turned to a frightened Yuna and Tidus.

"What the HELL was that?" Tidus asked.

"You've never seen those two drunk?" I asked calmly. He nodded, and Yuna shuddered.

"Don't give them alcohol anymore, Sir Auron..." She told me. I grinned.

"Can't promise anything," And I, too, went to bed.

_**Ahahahahahaha...most of these things are really dumbass things that Amanda, Miss Moody, and myself have been thinking about. I HAD to write this. I was bored. And 'Tidie Whitus Bubblehead' is what Miss Moody ACTUALLY calls Tidus. Yeah, I think it's funny, but you can think whatever you want. For this story, all reviews are accepted because this was just stupid...and random.**_


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